kaleidoscope

eowyn_girl @ 2009-12-25T14:33:00

2009-12-25T14:33:58Z

MERRY CHRISTMAS !

Hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday today!

(Whining will resume as usual tomorrow)

Fic: "Silent Night" (Daniel/Betty), PG-13

2009-12-24T19:22:28Z

Title: “Silent Night”
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,008
Characters: Daniel/Betty
Spoilers: Everything up to 4.09 “Be-Shure”
Summary: It’s Christmas Eve when Daniel suddenly realises his true feelings for Betty.
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine, just borrowing. All ABC's and Silvio Horta’s. I am playing, so do not sue me, please.
Author’s Notes: So this came out of a discussion over at daniel_betty about how Detty could potentially get together.

Hope everyone has a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

“Silent Night”
By eowyn_girl

It’s been a year like no other and Daniel Meade, for one, is glad to see it go out with a whimper rather than a bang.

He sips champagne but doesn’t really taste it. Doesn’t really see his carousing employees drunk on good spirits, in all senses of the word, from his perch on the mezzanine balcony.

Meade Publications had recovered most of the money lost from Connor Owen’s sensational embezzlement courtesy of Wilhelmina, since reinstalled as Mode’s Creative Director. Together with Daniel and his mom, they had managed to buy out Cal Hartley’s controlling stake in Meade.

The takeover had been frenetic, sucking most of Daniel’s thoughts and energy – just the way he had wanted it. Losing Molly had been devastating and eve now he can barely suppress a flinch at her memory; the very definition of bittersweet.

There had been changes as part of the takeover. Matt Hartley had departed along with his father’s other minions and while Daniel wasn’t partial to the guy, he had been Betty’s boyfriend which had carried a lot of weight with Daniel.

But they had called it quits not long after Matt had left the country to take charge of some Hartley interests in Paris and yeah, Daniel had been annoyed about that. He doesn’t want to be the pot calling the kettle anything and he’s not exactly sure what went down exactly between them, but Matt’s departure had made Betty sad and as far as Daniel was concerned, that was not an acceptable state of affairs. Especially just before Christmas.

“Enjoying yourself?”

Betty’s newly visible teeth gleam under the chandeliers. She should be having fun, it’s the Mode Christmas party to end all parties with free booze and entertainment and it’s like all the redundancies and craziness over the last year never happened.

But he can tell Betty isn’t having fun, not really. She puts up a good front for friends and family but lately Daniel has discovered he can tell, really tell, what the real deal is with this perplexing friend of his.

“Same as you, I suspect.” His smile is as grim and cheerless as her own as he looks out over the swanky ballroom. It’s no more old world charm than Daniel is, but it is the hippest, trendiest new hotel in town, not that he cares.

He tries alleviating the mood by bumping into her playfully, watches as her champagne almost tips over her glass.

“Daniel!” She doesn’t smile at first so he keeps doing it, until he gets the reaction he’s looking for. “Okay, okay, I get it. We’re both having a sucky time.”

“Yes we are.” He ditches his glass on the stone railing. “But that doesn’t mean we have to keep having a sucky time.”

“Oh?” She mirrors him by placing her champagne glass down, brown eyes glinting with mischief. “What do you have in mind?”

“Who says I have something in mind? I was merely making a suggestion. You’re the brains behind the operation, remember?”

“Come on Daniel, I know you.”

She’s given him more credit than he’s due because he doesn’t actually have a suggestion at all. But he surprises himself and comes up with one on the spur of the moment.

“Why don’t we go back to my place?”

He sees her bugged eyed look, interprets his own words in his head and realises he’s a bit of an idiot because that is not what he meant. “Oh no, I meant – not that. I mean, you know.”

He looks on expectantly but she shakes her head. He’s relieved to find proof she can’t actually read his mind.

“You know, we could just chill out or something. Watch a movie. I just got a brand new entertainment system, you have to see it, the sub-woofer is awesome and the pixels on the screen are just out of his world.”

“Gee Daniel, you really know how to persuade a girl.” She’s crossed her arms over her chest but she isn’t displeased with the suggestion. “All right, why not. Let me grab our coats from the cloakroom and I’ll meet you out front?”

He’s about to suggest the opposite; he’s the gentleman (in training) but she doesn’t wait for his agreement before rushing off, which is such a Betty thing to do. She knows what she wants and goes for it and he’s reminded again of how confident and sure this Betty is to the one he had hired as his assistant.

If someone had told him then that Betty would be one of his closest friends now – probably his best friend – well, he probably would have thought his future self was on an unnatural high.

He doesn’t have to wait by the ballroom doors for long; it’s probably too early for people to actually leave the party which is why she had no issues with the cloakroom.

“Okay, I’m ready.” He watches as she throws her coat haphazardly on, the way she always does. Her collar is askew, so he smoothes it down for her. “Thanks.”

“No problems.” He’s offhand with his response, but the action, instinctive as it was, surprises him. The last time he had done that, been so familiar with a person was, with, well, Molly.

He snatches a glance at Betty as they wait for his town car. She’s smoothed down his shirts and re-tied his ties and picked outfits that made his eyes pop, but he had never thought about returning the favour. This feeling was strange, and new. But not entirely uncomfortable.

“Hey do you mind if we grab some actual food on the way back? You know your fridge doesn’t actually have anything edible left, right?”

Daniel should be affronted by her assumption, but he’s not. Mainly because she’s absolutely right. “I won’t even dignify that with a response.”

She railroads on, smile wide. He watches her keenly, fascinated for no actual reason whatsoever.

“Carl, can we make one stop please? The usual place?”

When had Betty gotten onto a first name basis with his driver? And where on Earth is the ‘usual place’?

“Not a problem Betty.”

The ‘usual place’ turns out to be a cute little pizzeria a few blocks from his apartment, a place that he never even knew existed. How is it that she knows his neighbourhood better than he does?

“Why do you look so surprised, Daniel? All those times I brought pizza over, you thought I brought them all the way from Queens?”

He shrugs, has no idea what to say. Daniel’s mind really is blank sometimes.

He’s relieved when they step into his apartment, only because he knows the cleaner had come just that day and he’s had no chance to actually make his usual mess for Betty’s disapproval. He’s been much neater since living with Molly but he finds himself reverting to his bachelor ways sometimes.

She’s already on the couch when he reappears with two bottles of champagne, waving one in each hand. “Look what I found in the fridge. Something that’s actually edible.”

“Daniel I’m going to get drunk on that. And it’s not edible, it’s ... a bottle of champagne.”

He ignores her jibe. “Betty, it’s Christmas Eve. Live a little.” He runs back to the kitchen to fetch some glasses.

She’s already tucked into her first slice of pepperoni pizza when he returns, starts filling their glasses. “Why do you have The Devil Wears Prada?” She waves the DVD in his face like it’s evidence of some crime he hasn’t committed yet.

“What do you mean?” He hands her glass to her, brimming. “Do I need a reason to own a DVD?”

“Well maybe you do, for this one. It’s the ultimate chick movie and the last time I checked, you’re not a chick.”

“No I’m not.” They toast and their glasses clink merrily and he can’t explain it, but he’s starting to enjoy himself already. “It was Molly’s.”

The smile drops from Betty’ s face. “I’m sorry, Daniel.” She moves to put the DVD down but he stops her.

“Do you want to put it in? It’s actually pretty funny. Meryl Streep as Anna Wintour has nothing on Wilhelmina.”

They share a smile at the thought and Daniel remembers later it’s the first time he can think of Molly without the sharp pain of her loss weighing his memories of her down.

“Are you okay?” Betty’s eyes are all concern and he tries reassuring her that yes, he’s okay. Everything’s going to be okay for him.

He puts his arm around her, gives her a quick squeeze. “I’m fine. Let’s watch the movie. I think you’ll find the Ann Hathaway character really ... familiar.”

He thinks about Molly and how much of a guilty pleasure this movie had been for her, imagines her reactions and laughter as he watches it through her eyes for the first time.

It’s how he loses track of time and how much champagne he and Betty consumes; one moment he remembers two full bottles and the next, well, they’re empty. “We’re out.”

Daniel thinks she’s too engrossed in the movie to respond but on closer inspection her eyes are glazed. He knows that look, he has a PhD in it; it’s the hazy, clouded look of someone who’s had too much to drink.

He gently removes the champagne flute from her hand, places it on the table quietly. She’s half leaning against him so his movement stirs her momentarily. He whispers something reassuring, can’t remember what exactly but he thinks it was something to do with cleaning up and sleeping and she snuggles back into him with a contented sigh that he doesn’t want to admit melts something inside him.

The light is dim but it’s like suddenly he sees her in a whole new light, bright and comforting. He can’t pinpoint it for a while but when he’s gently placing a throw over Betty’s sleeping form, it suddenly hits him.

Betty is comfort and reassurance to him, someone he feels safe with. Being with her is like – coming home.

His eyes widen and he swallows once, very slowly, trying to digest his realisation. Betty has become family as much as his mom and Alex and Molly. How and when exactly this had happened he doesn’t know nor cares at the moment.

Daniel is a guy and a prosaic one at that, but even he isn’t stupid enough to miss the point. The point being – he loves her. Loves his best friend, confidante, some time saviour; loves that irrepressible girl from Queens who’s taught him so much without really trying.

The thought should shock him, but it doesn’t. It’ll probably freak him out in the cold light of day, but on Christmas Eve with the heat blazing and the snow falling outside, the end of The Devil Wears Prada playing silently in the background, it doesn’t faze him one bit.

“Merry Christmas, Betty.”

He leans over and makes sure she’s fast asleep before gently brushing her bangs off her face. Takes her hand gently in his and curves them around his waist. He settles next to her, likes the warmth of her body against his. He stretches his legs out onto the coffee table, switches the TV off with the remote. He brings his arm around her shoulders, careful to not disturb her sleep.

Betty tightens her grip, snuggles closer to him with an almost inaudible sigh.

It’s the only response he gets to his Christmas well wishes, but Daniel doesn’t mind one bit as he closes his eyes, and sleeps.

End

Snowflakes

2009-12-08T11:37:58Z

Thanks to paynesgrey, lucky_star79 and shimmeree for the snowflakes! They're just what I needed after a crap day ...

Merlin - Children in Need 2009

2009-11-20T21:41:05Z

Oh they keep the LOLs coming. I love it!

I think I've found my OTP - Arthur/Pudsey. LOL.

Plus the Arthur/Merlin scenes - OMG, for a second I thought they really were going to go there. Or maybe I just have a dirty, slashy mind.

And LOL @ Uther's mobile call. "You were CC'd in on the email!" LOL.

Random Merlin-ness

2009-10-31T17:37:24Z

Run of the interesting and the random continues. While shopping at Covent Garden, I discovered that Angel Coulby and Bradley James were going to be at a book signing. So, like a fangirl half my age, I got their autographs.

Unfortnately I joined the line pretty late (ie. I got there on time), so by the time they got to me we were limited to autographs only. Oh well.

Angel Coulby

Angel was super nice, I asked her how she was and she seemed taken aback but replied very sweetly that she was doing fine (what, people don't go through the niceties anymore?) She is much prettier and sweeter in person than as Gwen.

Bradley James

Bradley and his scruff. He was very deadpan. I asked whether I could take a photo and he's all, "Yes but I warn you, I'm not very photogenic." Without thinking I bounced back with, "Oh but dude, you are so very photogenic. Say cheese!". And then he laughed. The lady behind him guffawed. (Oh come on, he must know how cute he is).

Irony is that he's right. He's much better looking in person than this horrid photo would suggest. Looking forward to watching Merlin tonight!

Richard Armitage: Swoon

2009-10-10T10:49:37Z

I'd forgotten how gorgeous and thoughtful the lovely Mr Armitage was. If only there is such a man like this in real life! (Albeit he is supposed to live two tube stations down from me). *sigh*

Spooks star on his army of female fans

Fic: "Revelation" (Merlin/Morgana), PG-13 (1/?)

2009-10-09T19:30:23Z

I'm posting this early b/c I think this is one of those fics that would benefit from um, feedback. Plus it's a new fandom so it's always good to see whether I'm hitting the mark on characterisation, etc.

Rating: PG-13
Characters: Merlin/Morgana, Arthur/Gwen (implied)
Summary: Merlin’s horizons broaden after Morgana discovers his secret. Takes place a while after 2.03.
Spoilers: Up to and including 2.03.
Notes: Dipping my toes into the fandom with my first Merlin fic! But really, after 2.03, Merlin/Morgana was begging to be written.
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine, just borrowing from BBC and the show’s creators. I am not profiting financially from this.

"Revelation"
by eowyn_girl
Part One

Merlin resists the temptation to look over his shoulder, squint or otherwise look like he's about to do something shifty.

But it gets too much and he does it anyway; surreptitiously surveys the vast chamber where so many of the realm’s nobles are busy with their merry making ways. Makes sure no one of importance (King Uther or anyone who has the power to throw him into the dungeon) is looking before ducking into the nearest passageway in a dereliction of duty even he doesn’t hope to repeat too soon.

He hopes they are too happy, too drunk, to care tonight. They’re nobles but people too, and he’d always hoped to be one of them, a normal person, but knows now that fantasy isn’t for him. Merlin is who he is or rather, what he is. He knows his place in the world and that’s by Arthur’s side.

He sprints down the passageway, chasing shadows cast by the fiery sconces lining Camelot’s walls, beacons of safety usually when he traverses the keep’s passages in the dead of night. But tonight he doesn’t notice them in the slightest, except for an odd flickering as he sails past them, as fast as physically possible for a man-child of his slight frame and size.

He’s been doing this for two years or so, saving his friend and master from certain death, from magic and monsters; for a special destiny Merlin can only guess at. No doubt the Great Dragon knows, but he isn’t telling.

But he is past the uncertainty and doubt, past feeling the inexorable burden of another man’s life being almost entirely in his hands. He understands now why it has to be this way. His powers are a gift, bequeathed to him with certain conditions. Like mucking out stables and cleaning armour, but also to protect his friend any way he knows how.

His thoughts ebb away as he runs, pausing only to blast the last iron grill on his way out of the castle. Once more he risks his own life to secure Arthur’s, but that is the way it’s meant to be. For Arthur is the once and future King on whom all else depends.

*****

It’s a moonless night, but it isn’t so much a problem for Merlin as the ominous sighs of the trees that he somehow feels are following him. Normally he likes settling under a tree in the kitchen garden and stealing a few moments to himself in the late afternoon, but things are quite different in the pitch dark cover of night. Maybe it’s because he knows how many things there are that go bump in the forest at night.

He approaches cautiously, certain the reason Arthur is missing all the revelry is because he’s in trouble. He knows the prince; it isn’t like him to miss a good party without sending word. Apparently guards had already been dispatched to look for him, but that had been over an hour ago.

Merlin is a practiced eavesdropper. He’s not proud of it, but it comes in remarkably handy, mostly.

“Merlin.”

He doesn’t turn around right away; he knows who it is. He closes his eyes, can almost feel the erratic beating of her heart singing in twine with his.

“Morgana, you scared me.” He’s panting like a sissy when he turns around and yes, he’s been told he is one by Arthur on countless occasions. Not that anyone needs to know that.

She comes out into the clearing where he’s standing, midnight blue dress flowing like a silken waterfall behind her. She’s dressed up for the festivities and, well, the effect is nothing short of breathtaking.

“I know what you’re doing Merlin. What you’ve been doing.” If it isn’t for the tiny, breathless hitch at the tail end of that sentence, he would never have been able to tell how nervous the King’s ward is. But that, combined with the quick rise and fall of her chest, lets him know how tense this moment is for both of them.

“I ... don’t know what you mean.” He used to find it hard to lie; to look someone in the eye as he’s doing so, but not anymore. In many ways, Merlin was growing up, shedding the naive, innocent boy he used to be.

But she isn’t fooled by the steadiness of his voice, not in the slightest. “Come on Merlin. You’ve been saving Arthur’s life for goodness knows how long. I’ve watched you, dashing here and there, protecting him. And no one knows, no one sees. Except me.”

There’s a certain hypnotic quality to her voice; he doesn’t know whether it’s her beauty or her magic or both, but he finds himself unsteady on his feet. Swaying to and fro, but at the last minute he stumbles away and almost trips over a fallen branch. “I don’t –”

It’s like she sees his ungainly movements before he does; anticipates his awkward denial and brushes it aside by grabbing onto his arm. “I saw it in one of my dreams. When you saved him from that manticore, remember? You told everyone it was pure luck, but I saw Merlin, I saw you. I followed you into the forest that night and saw how you killed it while Arthur was unconscious. You used magic. You’re just like me.”

The certainty in her eyes makes the next lie stick in his throat. He has no words, magical or otherwise.

They stare at each other, lost in the breathless silence that accompanies revelation. He’s surprisingly calm, given that his last secret has been uncovered; he should feel vulnerable, compromised, exposed and fearing for his life.

But he doesn’t. Fumbles for the right words to say just that but she beats him to it.
“Don’t worry. You know I wouldn’t –”

“Oh, I know. I mean, I know.” It’s stupid and inappropriate to be having this conversation with Arthur goodness knows where. She seems to sense it too, closes the gap between them until she’s looking up at him with luminous eyes.

“Let’s find Arthur.” She whispers. Her words surprise him, but he doesn’t know why. Had he been expecting something else? Anger maybe, or irritation at being kept in the dark?
Maybe that comes later, but he can’t worry about that now. He nods and she takes his hand; laughing at the shock in his face at their touch.

“What, you think I’m going to let you take all the credit for saving the day? A girl likes to feel useful, you know.”

No he hadn’t known. All he knows is that for the first time since coming to Camelot, he doesn’t feel quite as alone as he once thought he was.

*****
They find him unconscious, sprawled on the ground with a few bruises and his great sword lying some distance away, but otherwise unhurt. Merlin pushes down that familiar feeling he’s come to loathe; an odd combination of relief, fury and elation to find Arthur safe and not dead.

But why does Arthur always have to throw himself in harm’s way? It infuriates him, how little regard Arthur has for his life; doesn’t appreciate how value he is to everyone even after all he’s been through. How important he is to his father, the kingdom, to Merlin and to the destiny of Camelot.

They hear agitated scrambling and footsteps disappearing into the forest, but neither Merlin nor Morgana wants to give chase.

Morgana kneels by Arthur’s side, checks his breathing. There are no signs of distress which frees Merlin’s mind to roam. At times like this, Merlin wonders whether Arthur really is worth saving. It’s incomprehensible to believe that someone can be so block headed, even if said block head is his royal privileged highness.

It will be part of his duty perhaps, to make Arthur realise that some day. For now, his duty is to get Arthur safely and securely back into the castle where Gaius can tend to him.

Merlin and Glee (spoilers)

2009-10-08T12:18:01Z

+ Back on the fanfic horse, but I've put the Paire fic on hold for ... Merlin/Morgana. I need a new icon or something.

+ How adorable were the boys' mash up on Glee? The girls were good, but the boys were so adorable in all the amped up glory. Finn especially, when he's usually so adorkable and earnest. I found myself rewatching them for more than a few times!

Merlin, Heroes, etc

2009-10-07T11:59:28Z

+ That's right, I'm not dead! I've just been so reluctant to think about certain things the past few weeks, so I've been avoiding talking/posting/thinking about it. You know what (or rather, who) I mean! So I've been trying to distract myself by doing all sorts of things I wouldn't usually do. I'm sure you know how it goes.

+ Belated reaction post, but I loved last week's Merlin (2.03). I really liked the Merlin/Morgana interaction. I think they may be my new ship. It's probably a knee jerk reaction to the artificial Arthur/Gwen that's been sprung on us, but I don't care.

+ This week's Heroes was rather blah, I even found myself skipping the Noah and Claire moments, which ... I don't know. When the make Noah boring, I don't know whether the show is over for me or not. 4.04 was all right, just didn't grab me. Ok, what the hell, it was boring. No development of character that I can get excited about. The best bit was the Peter/claire hug. Yes. I watched that about 5 times. I might even write something about it!

+ Have been doing heaps of RL stuff, so I'll bore you guys with that later. Man. I'm in purgatory or something.

Merlin: Series 2 Trailer #3

2009-09-16T23:27:06Z

From the kind people over at merlin_tv. Is it wrong that I am looking forward to Merlin coming back so much more than Heroes?

Obviously, spoilers for Series 2.

LOL @ Arthur and Merlin's conversation by the lake - "We can't do anything about it." "You can do whatever you want when you're KING." I know they were probably referring to any Arthur/Gwen shenanigans but the way it was cut, it was like they were talking about Arthur/Merlin. LOL.

And who is Merlin kissing? I really want it to be Morgana but other than hair colour and general colouring, it doesn't really look like her.

Series 2 looks fantastic!

Fandom catch up

2009-07-18T20:10:05Z

So much fandom stuff to catch up on, but I've finally made a start. Needless to say, my comments contain spoilers.

+ Glee: It's not half bad - the more I think about it, the more I quite like it. Definitely more than Highschool Musical b/c that was just too sugary sweet. I liked the pace and tempo of this one, balancing the more dramatic moments with light hearteded comedy (loved Jessalyn Gilsig's character). Liked Jayma Mays, who rocked as Charlie (in both Heroes and Ugly Betty) and the kids are cute, of course. Will definitely watch the series when it comes out.

+ Torchwood: Children of Earth: What can I say? I loved it, but the ending broke my heart. I hadn't read any spoilers or articles about it before I watched, so I didn't know (still don't I guess) whether they intended this as a series finale. If so, it was a fitting end, leaving room open for the occasional TV special.

I was sobbing when Ianto died, and although I like Gareth Lloyd Jones I didn't particularly love Ianto. The Ianto/Jack wasn't too great, b/c I felt they didn't really address them as a couple before they unceremoniously killed Ianto off. Overall the mini-series was great, great pacing and keeping well within what Torchwood does best - a kind of Doctor Who for grown ups. I do think that the ending was something that they absolutely could not have attempted for DW, so to see Torchwood do it was a bonus. I fully support that it is something Jack would definitely have done - I'm so tired of leads being all angsty and stuff about their past but when push comes to shove they're usually 100% a white hat. A bit of darkness and greyness sometimes peeks in, but overall they are knights in shining armours. So to have Jack sacrifice his only grandson ... it was a very powerful moment, both right and wrong. Poor Jack!

+ Fringe: Saw the pilot, and agree with most that Anna Torv is the most unsatisfactory, wooden lead on prime time. The fact that Fringe passed the pilot stage is a triumph b/c I'm sure that it was despite her performance, which was terrible. Her accent kept slipping and at the end it didn't even seem like she even tried to do it at the end.

Pacey (aka Joshua Jackson) was good, but too one note as the cynical, slightly rebellious resident genius. It was like watching Pacey all grown up and with no Joey. Hope he is allowed to expand his range during the series. Not sure about Fringe, but I've got the second episode so I'll continue to give it a go.

+ Dollhouse -1.13 Epitaph One: Loved it, but of course like all Joss' weird episodes it puzzled me slightly. I'm not sure whether it's a glimpse of THE future or a possible future. If it's the former, that would be slightly boring. If the latter, a bit more interesting as it at least gives Echo etc the possibility of improving it.

But weren't the relationships interesting? Boyd/Saunders was sweet, I adore Amy Acker. I love her, even though I absolutely detested Fred. Caroline/Paul was predictable and I just assumed from how they were acting that they WERE a couple, despite Caroline's statement otherwise. The surprise, of course, was Topher/DeWitt, a bit unpredictable but strangely the most touching of the three pairings. The way Topher had broken down, was so ... right, but tragic.

Heroes Het Fic Awards

2009-07-14T17:26:30Z

So the results are up at heroes_het_fic and despite virtually no fic activity this year, I've managed to squeeze in a respectable 3rd for Best Threesome Fic. LOL, considering how squicked I was writing threesomes at the beginning, it is not too shabby! Big thanks to everyone who voted for me.

Congrats goes out to my flisties who highly deserve their placings and wins, especially to sinverguenza and quirkysmuse (paynesgrey) for their multiple placings/wins. Well deserved, as you gals deftly move from character to character and ship to ship without a moment's notice and do each one equally well! ;-)

I will say that these awards have really made me question my current level of inactivity, both fanfic and original fic wise. I've been distracted with RL issues and haven't written more than two sentences stuck together, which is terrible and annoying as I do love my Paire and Nathan/Peter/Claire but nothing really springs to mind. It's as if I've burnt out and/or written everything that I can, which is bollocks b/c I've got about 5 WIPs on my hard drive without an ending. I have zero inspiration atm which doesn't bode well for my immediate writing prospects. Ack. I should just bite the bullet and make myself write, b/c I know that, as with anything, writing is an art best practiced!

Refreshed, if not raring to go

2009-07-13T21:40:27Z

+ Just came back from a weekend away. Was good to get out of London for a while and the weather was perfect, or as perfect as volatile English weather can get. We went to Portsmouth on Saturday which had a great factory outlet complex. But best of all we visited the HMS Victory, Lord Admiral Nelson's flagship during the Battle of Trafalgar. It was too awesome, particularly as a fan of the Hornblower series. We were able to walk up and down the Victory which is the only way you can appreciate how enormous this frigate was. It was a bit rainy but it only added to the atmosphere. Awesome.

+ Then we drove around the Cotswolds yesterday, the weather was perfect. We drove through tiny little countrysides which were really cute, including Lacock Village which is where they film a lot of the BBC period dramas (eg. Pride & Prejudice, Cranford, etc). The only downer was that there were so many people around, which kinda spoilt the atmosphere.

+ Finally, random pic of the day - how weird is this David Tennant photo? It's a pic from the set of St Trinians 2; I don't know anything about it but why have they done to my man? I have no words. Except: Crikey! And he looks way more 38 now than he does normally!

Source: tennant_love.

Some food for thought

2009-07-02T15:27:18Z

+ Confidence: What has really struck me lately is the battering my personal confidence has taken. It's something I haven't noticed before but, for me at least, a lot of my self-confidence, my self-worth, is tied to my work and before that, my academic record.

It's perfectly normal. While on the relationship front I have an abysmal confidence level and atrocious taste in men, I have adapted to these conditions. What I haven't adapted to is what happens to my actual self-confidence when you take away all that makes me a competent person - my work. I'm great at what I do, I'm confident and adaptable and yes dammit, smart. I delight in my talent. But what happens when I lose such a badge of honour? Common sense dictates that nothing has changed; I am who I am, with or without a job. But the endless rounds of implicit rejections are getting to me, even though I've been assured by all and sundry it's purely the workings of an evil recession, but still. I'm starting to question my worth not just as a professional but as a person.

Which is silly, and wrong and I'm working hard to correct it. But there you go!

+ Tummy tricks?: Completely different topic, but can anyone suggest a good exercise/diet routine for getting rid of tummies? I've got heaps of time on my hands so I figure it's now or never - I've gained heaps of weight (about 6%) since I started working hard core hours at work and suspect most of it has gone to my tummy. ;-(

While most of my clothes still fit, they're getting a bit tight. So, any suggestions as to where to start?

Punches Air

2009-06-12T11:19:11Z

Booyah! I just changed my ticket to return to London on Friday. Next Friday.

It must be the right decision, b/c I'm over the moon. So happy! All the stupidity of the last couple of months is already melting away.

*punches air some more*

"FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS" NATHAN/CLAIRE, NC-17

2009-05-28T12:58:09Z

Title: For Whom The Bell Tolls
Characters/Pairings: Nathan/Claire, Peter/Claire (implied)
Rating: NC-17
Written for: sinverguenza, as part of the Spring heroes_exchange.
Wordcount: 1,350
Spoilers: Season 3, but AU from 3.24
Warnings: Angst, Incest
Disclaimer: Do not own Heroes, because Tim Kring and NBC do.
A/N: It was a battle to get it done, but it's done. Hope it didn't disappoint sinverguenza too much!

Summary: "Her life is burning before her eyes, but Claire knows she’s powerless to stop it."

*****

"Isn’t this your life? That ancient kiss
still burning out your eyes? Isn’t this defeat
so accurate, the church bell simply seems
a pure announcement: ring and no one comes?
Don’t empty houses ring?"
~ Richard Hugo

Her life is burning before her eyes, but Claire knows she’s powerless to stop it.

A small voice inside her chides, does she really want to? The pain she endures is still pain; it’s still feeling and sensation nestling tightly at her insides, burning her from within.

It chokes and burns but she still needs it, these feelings she can’t get from any place else.

This place, these emotions; they still make her remember, and feel. Who is she to scoff at that small mercy?

She remembers a time when that had been her biggest fear. To not be able to feel, the way she’s able to see and hear and taste and smell, was a fate worse than death. If she could go back in time and speak to that young girl now, she’d say – well, she doesn’t know what she’d say, even after all this time –

She stares long and hard at the bell tower, waiting. It’s the only thing that remains of the church that once stood at the centre of this town; an ordinary enough building in an even more ordinary town. The bell rang every hour on the hour, a clarion call in this wild, remote place she still can’t bring herself to call home.

And it is, in a way, because it was their place, their secret.

Yes, she still hugs that secret to her chest even if no one is alive now to care much whether it happened or not. Claire is immortal, has known it since she was 15 years old, but never quite knew until now at the twilight of her existence just how lonely life can be, if travelled alone.

That’s okay. She has no home, no personality, no core. A being made of dust and sand. Ashes to ashes and all that, but she can’t wait until she becomes dust and wind to scatter across the skies.

Dust and wind; crumbling to the touch.

She remembers his touch.

* * * * *

The last time she’d felt, feelings and emotions and all that, had been with him.

He had told her, reassured her that what they did, what they’re doing is okay. In retrospect she has no problems admitting the truth, the whole truth and nothing but.

Nathan lied, had always lied, maybe even to himself. Lied maybe to pale the stench of their sins but Claire was wise beyond her years even then. Knew they would never be able to get the reek of it out; it would infect every pore of their bodies.

She knew, had always known, that what they did was wrong on every conceivable level. But she knew they would never be able to stop it.

Had she even wanted to?

They would never be able to explain it, the illicit affair they had started but couldn’t stop. She would never be able to wipe those memories away; twin throes of agony and ecstasy he’d drawn from her. He had played her like his favourite instrument but underneath it all, he had to lie to not stain the truth.

It’s okay. He’d whisper, always a little breathlessly against her face. He’d understand. We need this.

They did, but Claire doesn’t know, not even now, whether Peter would have understood. He had admitted with his dying breath that he had loved her, in that way, but could never have brought himself to do anything about it. Because it was wrong and immoral and their understanding had been perfect; she never blamed him for living up to expectations.

So how to explain what she and Nathan had done for all those years after Peter had crumbled into dust and ashes?

It’s betrayal and incest, two very ugly words, but she misses Nathan. He’d filled something inside her, more than just her insides and with him gone there’s just – nothing.

She misses him like she misses the tolling of the church bells in the centre of town.

They’d stopped tolling fifty years ago.

* * * * *

They’re in the cabin, their cabin, a few miles out from a non-descript town. The only thing Claire likes about it are the church bells, chiming every hour, on the hour. The regularity of it soothes her, but back then she hadn’t known why.

She stares at Nathan’s fingers, large and masculine, tracing the contours of her body from her thighs to her breasts. Resists the urge to shiver because it’s a little game they play; any time, anywhere, because he likes his games and for this one he depends on her to resist for as long as possible.

He touches, strokes, fingers every nook and crevice of her body and she doesn’t react because she thinks she can show him, every time, that he doesn’t know everything about her. They should and do have secrets even from each other.

But when she’s with him, the secrets and lies ebb away; dissolving into dark fantasy.

She lasts until his strong hands cup her breasts, giving them a firm squeeze. He knows what that does to her. She thinks a moan escapes; maybe. His touch always leaves her in a mild daze.

Fingers reach inside her, two, maybe three. Pumps and kneads until her wetness is spread on her inner thighs and she groans.

Now.

He’s quick to act; even in love making Nathan never loses his edge. She opens her eyes, watches him keenly as he undresses. Spreads herself in anticipation, but he’s ready with that dark twinkle in his eyes that can be so like his brother’s, and yet not.

He takes great pains to hook her legs to the bed posts, spreading them far and wide. She’s open and vulnerable and it’s just the way he likes her, before he enters her.

Which he does, quickly and efficiently; doesn’t settle inside but starts pumping away without a care in the world. She’s the indestructible girl so he doesn’t worry about hurting her because the horrible truth is, she can’t be hurt, not really.

So she goes with it, gets lost in it, flinging restraint to the heavens as she bucks wildly underneath him. The harder he drives into her the more she likes it, screams for more like it’s the last time they’ll ever get to do this.

She needs this, craves it, for who they’ve both loved and lost.

He isn’t Peter, but he’s the next best thing.

* * * * *

The thing about being immortal is that she’ll never grow old or die, but Nathan did, eventually.

She’d gone out of her way to never imagine, never think how he would exit her life. But even when it happened, she hadn’t been prepared for their last time to really have been their last.

She knows he’d lied to her, that last time, as they lay together on the grass underneath an inky sky. He’d stared and stared and when she’d told him to quit it, he’d given her a crooked smile that had left her heart gasping; so much like the smile that used to adorn Peter’s face.

I love you, Claire.

He never had the chance to lie again.

But she wonders whether Nathan knew at the end that she’d lied too? He hadn’t been the whole world to her, just as she had never been his. They’d both loved and lived and lost and it had been a certain dreamer with that twinkle in his eye that had bound them forever in a tryst that will condemn them both.

That’s okay. She’s ready for the fire and brimstone.

She’s being consumed whole before her eyes, waiting for the tolling of the bell to pronounce her fate.

-END-

Assignment:
Rating requested (G-NC-17): R or above
Pairings or Characters Requested: Claire/Nathan
Prompts requested:
1. Hansel and Greta
2. Dark wine
3. 'lies my father told me'
4. tea party
5. (see below)
"Isn’t this your life? That ancient kiss
still burning out your eyes? Isn’t this defeat
so accurate, the church bell simply seems
a pure announcement: ring and no one comes?
Don’t empty houses ring?"

Meme: 10 ships

2009-05-27T10:06:12Z

Stolen from everyone on my flist.

Name your 10 absolutely favorite couples (het/slash/canon/fanon) and ask people to see what trends they notice about your couples. Try to pick different fandoms.

harry/hermione (harry potter)
peter/claire (heroes)
veronica/logan (veronica mars)
sam/jack (stargate sg-1)
angel/cordy (angel)
mulder/scully (the x-files)
chuck/sarah (chuck)
draco/hermione (harry potter)
justin/rebecca (brothers and sisters)
daniel/betty (ugly betty)

A very diverse list. Go!

Quiz: Color Genics

2009-05-09T12:51:06Z

Color Genics thingy stolen from a few people from my flist.

This is what it had to say about me. It is, as others have found, freakishly accurate.

You are longing for some love and affection at this time - not that you have been deprived of tender loving care - but there are times when everyone needs to try something new or to go 'somewhere' else to perhaps experience that little extra 'understanding'.

You are a true extrovert, frivolous and outgoing. You need to feel in control of any situation. If matters are not proceeding according to plan you tend to get extremely irritable and perhaps become difficult to live with.

All the problems that you have been experiencing of late seem to have become a part of your life and there is little that can be done to change the situation. Your emotions run high - but even though you feel as if at times you are about to burst this situation will pass. Try to release your pent-up emotions by participating in some extra physical activities like running, swimming, whatever. There must be some favourite pastime, not necessarily strenuous, that can help you to relax.

You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full. You therefore resent any restriction or limitations that are being imposed on you and you insist on going it alone.

You don't like conflict and you endeavour to avoid criticism. You want to do your own thing and to be able to decide what is right for you. You have considerable personable charm - and this is used with considerable effect on those that keep your company.

Crikey! True, true and very true. Hmmmm.

Source

Heroes Het Awards: Pimp Post!

2009-05-08T01:54:48Z

1. I finally got around to looking at the heroes_het_fic courtesy of a link from paynesgrey. (I have been MIA from fandom for a while!). Anyway, I'm taking the opportunity to pimp myself because, you know, I can!

(Running paire_awards means that I could never do or say or squee about anything, so yay for behaving like a normal fangirl!)

2. In other fandom news, I am actually signed up for the heroes_exchange. But I wish to sincerely apologise to the person who is going to receive my story. I'm struggling to get something down onto paper (computer) and it doesn't look good, at all. The more I re-read it the more s**t it becomes. Meh.

3. I saw Wolverine and contrary to popular opinion, I really liked it. I'll review it fully later, but I think I liked it b/c I wasn't a fan of the comics. So the disconnect between them and the movie (which is in keeping with the continuity of the X-Men movies, more or less) didn't bother me at all. I didn't know what Deadpool or Gambit was meant to be like. Heck, I don't care that Wolverine in the comics is a comparative (though musclely) midget.

The most common opinion I hear from girls who've seen the movie though? "Ryan Reynolds. So. Hot." LOL LOL. RR is officially my no.1 fan love! So I'm so psyched to hear about the Deadpool movie. I really hope they make him all pretty and hot (and pretty hot).

4. Star Trek: Wah. No one wants to see it with me. I'm far from being a Trekkie (or Trekker? I have no idea, sorry dudes) but just want to see Zach Quinto and John Cho and spaceships blowing up. Yes I am a geek. Did ye not know that by now?

Heroes: 3.25 "An Invisible Thread"

2009-04-29T03:20:09Z

I'm not convinced that when Bryan Fuller read this Kring-penned script that he didn't go, "Hmmm. I like it, but ..."

Because that's just how I felt about it. As an episode, there was nothing wrong with it. But as a season and volume finale? A little bit lame, especially if you compare it to gems like Chuck vs. The Ring (Chuck's Season 2 ender) (now that's how you do a season final!).

Anyway, I did like certain parts of it:

- Awesome, badass Peter. I love him in black, I love his hair, I love the way he jabbed the syringe into Sylar's neck. I love Milo being good/bad and love Peter relishing getting the one-up on Sylar.

- don't hate me, but the Sylaire scene didn't exactly suck. I was squicked and disturbed which I'm glad I was, but still. I saw "Fic Fodder" written all over that scene.

- Heartbreaking: Angela finding Nathan. That brought tears to my eyes. But I really do think it was time Nathan died. He's used up more than his fair share of lives.

- LOL @ Sylar saying "Papa Petrelli" and "Mama Bennet". Does this particular serial killer read the message boards and TWoP during his down time perchance?

- Badass Noah, knowing that a road block was on the way. How smart is this man? I love him so much.

Disliked:

- Lack of nice Paire scenes. I'm not delusional, I know they're not going to be making out onscreen anytime soon. But would it kill them to put the (emotional) intimacy they had built up in Season 1 back into their friendship? The only time I really saw it come out was at the end when Claire and Peter were standing side by side at the pyre.

- Bringing back Tracy. I didn't miss her and felt her arc ended with her redemption. What does it serve the storyline by bringing her back as the Big Bad, except keeping Ali Larter on the payroll? IMO they majorly screwed up by getting rid of the Nicki/DL/Micah dynamic which could have gone to heaps of places.

- How they disposed of Danko: I don't like him, but he was a really great character who didn't deserve to be taken down so quickly.

- The ultimate solution for Sylar: I know this will only be a set up for Volume 5, but what Angela, Noah and Matt did is quite reprehensible. Does the end justify the means? When Peter and Claire find out (and we know they will), could they ever forgive Angela and Noah respectively for this betrayal?

- Matt: Eh, whiney much?

- Hiro and Ando: Tired now. Can they either change or go, please?

All in all, I felt it did the least it had to do - keep it's existing audience/fans interested enough in Volume 5/Season 4 to keep watching. Now let's hope Bryan Fuller gets first dibs at pitching stories and generally making the characters more consistent and less sucky next season.

And oh Fuller? Please give Paire a fair go next season!

Meme: Character advice

2009-04-07T11:12:47Z

This meme sounds super fun. And I am in mucho need of fun these days!

Ask any character I've written for advice, and they will provide it, advice columnist style. Your problems or fictional characters' problems both welcome. Management is not responsible for the results of following said advice (especially if provided by supervillains).

Fire away!

Meme: Heroes character - Peter

2009-04-06T12:16:15Z

Tagged by rtwofan. Yay for something to do other than stew in own misfortunes! Tagged for Peter Petrelli.

1. Do you like this character?

Are you kidding me? I love Peter. Peter is THE character for me. If Peter disappeared from the Heroesverse, I'd leave, no ifs or buts.

2. What name/s do you call this character?

Peter or Petey. Never Pete. That's just wrong!

3. What image-color do you associate with this character?

He's incandescent; a rainbow. Shimmering and ever changing because he still doesn't know what or who he really is yet. Which is what I love about him.

4. What image-song do you associate with this character?

"Hero" by Chad Kroeger.

5. What blood-type do you think this character is?

Blood type: AB

6. What character do you like to put this character with?

Claire! He and Claire have awesome chemistry, which is why I ship them relentlessly. Their dynamic is just out of this world and the possibilities between them are infinite!

Peter also works really well with Nathan, but as a throw away I'd really like to see him work closely with Noah. I can envision an older older brother dynamic or even father, even though Noah can't be THAT much older than Petey. ;-)

7. What would you want to say to this character?

Don't give up on trying to save the world. The world needs dreamers and heroes like you. But please remember to keep your hair a decent length, never shave it all off and for Pete's (!) sake, look after your niece!

8. Which do you want to do with this character: Shake hands, hug, or kiss?

Hug and kiss. And other stuff.

9. Please choose 6 friends with your choice of character.

shimmeree: Sylar
dragonydreams: Nathan
sinverguenza: Claire
joanna_484: Noah
paynesgrey: Mohinder
rtwofan: Matt

Meme: What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

2009-04-03T12:22:21Z

You Are a Star

You have a Type A personality so big it makes other Type A's shrink away in shame.
You never shy away from adversity - and you love to tackle impossible problems.
Failure is not an option for you, and more than a few people are put off by your ego.
You tend to be controlling, and you hate leaving anything up to chance.

Your strength: Your bold approach to life

Your weakness: You don't accept help

Your power color: Bronze

Your power symbol: Pyramid

Your power month: October

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

"HOME" PG-13, PETER/CLAIRE (2/2)

2009-03-16T19:31:53Z

Title: "Home"
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,642
Characters: Peter/Claire (canon), Claire/Alex (implied)
Summary: After she loses Nathan's protection, Claire is free to run back to the only person who's ever made her feel safe.
Spoilers: AU after 3.17
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine, just borrowing from NBC and Tim Kring. I am not profiting financially from this. Please don’t sue!
Author’s Notes: Written after 3.17; my version of what Claire might have done after helping Alex at the comic book store.

It takes her a couple of weeks longer than she thought, but Claire tracks him down near New Orleans, hiding in a house on the outskirts of a town that could definitely qualify as nowheresville.

It’s hot and sticky as she makes her way up to the door and for some reason, makes her crave Cajun chicken.

Her hand stills, millimetres from the door. She’s been so gung-ho about this path until now. But for some reason, reaching this threshold, coming so close to the only person she’s ever truly trusted, makes her heart skip a beat.

She wants to knock, but can’t. All those weeks on the run, all that planning and anxiety and loneliness. Finding one person in a world of six billion had seemed an impossible task for anyone besides Claire Bennet, but she’d done it.

She’d done it, but now what?

She doesn’t know. So she sits on the steps and waits in the oppressive heat for a sign. What precisely it’d take, she doesn’t know.

* * * * *

It’s just as well the wind had been sucked from her sails, because it turns out Peter isn’t home anyway.

She only discovers this when she sees a shadow loom over her, tall and distorted in the blazing afternoon sun.

“Claire?”

It’s his tone that makes her look up. It isn’t surprise or shock or reproach, but a strange, half-shattered release of emotion that’s all too familiar to her. She knows it because it’s the strangled sound she makes crying alone in the dark, in those fractured moments of in-between when she can let the frightened teenager reappear, the cheerleader who’d been so complacent about her normal life and feel what her life’s become.

She’s imagined this moment many times over the past weeks; imagined how strong and she’d be for him. Show Peter how much growing up she’s done since their hasty separation; show him that the cheerleader he’d rescued lifetimes ago has become a hero herself and, in turn, was rescuing others.

But instead she can’t utter a word; can’t even open her mouth. Flies buzz hotly over her face and the glare of the sun should blind her vision, but it doesn’t because she can’t see anything but him.

“Peter.”

She flings herself against him, doesn’t realise how much hope she’s pinned on the thought of seeing him again until now. Revels in the tightness of his grip and fancies that yeah, he’s glad and relieved to see her too.

It’s a while before he’s able to untangle himself but when he does, asks a really good question.

“Claire, what the hell are you doing here?”

* * * * *

She doesn’t mean to sound so broken or frightened, but he has a way of getting under her skin. She’s sure it’s unconsciously done but somehow it comforts her, that there’s at least one person in this world who’s capable of getting under her fiery armour without premeditation or thought because that’s just the way he is.

Peter sits across the table, patiently watches as she cries her heart out. She hadn’t realised until halfway through her gibbering how much stress she’d been under, how lonely she’d been having no one to share her burden with. Alex had been a great listener, but he hadn’t known, hadn’t gone through what she and Peter and Matt and the others had.

And there hadn’t been that spontaneous intimacy she and Peter had shared; that rapport that had made her instantly trust him without question.

He doesn’t ask whether she’s okay, because he knows they’re not. How can they be when their world’s been turned upside down until it feels like they’re hanging onto the only life they’ll ever have by the skin of their teeth?

He doesn’t say anything that can be construed as a lie; doesn’t make false promises that it’s all going to be okay because even he knows it may not be okay. The best they can hope for is to stay alive and to save as many people as they can with the powers they were given.

Claire finds it sad, that the eternal dreamer in him is no more. Sees the hard man he could become if their life continues down the path they’ve both chosen and been forced onto.

It makes her grieve before her time.

* * * * *

He chuckles when she recounts how she’d found him, having the stones to go to Angela right in the dragon’s den. It’s the first time the worry disappears off his face and she can’t lie; she’s relieved her hero can still smile.

“I’d pay a lot to see you forcing her hand like that. No one forces mom to do anything.”

And because he’s smiling, there’s a smile on her face, too.

She offers to wash the dishes in the sink (because let’s face it, Peter’s her hero but he’s also a man) and make them a simple dinner. She’d spent enough years as her mom’s disciple in the kitchen to know that anything she serves would be better than what he can conjure.

She hums as she cooks, doesn’t know she’s doing it until she catches him staring with the most imperceptible of smiles. Considers a retort but bites it back; the simple domesticity is actually a respite from the high stakes game of life and death that’s ensnared them both.

It’s half way through dinner that he surprises her.

“I missed you, Claire. I’m glad you found me.”

The nakedness of his admission disarms her completely. She smiles awkwardly and jokes, yeah, she’s sure he’s missed how annoying she can be but adds, almost against her will.

“I’ve missed you too.”

There’s too much to say; they’ll never be finished saying it. So they finish their food in silence.

Afterwards when she’s washing the dishes his hand snakes along hers, stilling them. His breath is warm against her face and for a moment, for a crazy, split second of a moment, she thinks –

Well, she doesn’t know what she thinks.

His grip on her fingers tighten.

“I’m glad you’re here.”

“Me too.”

“Are you –?”

“I’ll stay as long as you can put up with me.”

She doesn’t need to turn around to see his smile. She can feel it, as sure as she can feel the one spreading across her own face.

For the first time in weeks – months maybe – she feels herself relaxing. It doesn’t have anything to do with safety or having enough sleep or food, but something else she’d been missing since those simple days in Odessa.

She can relax and feel safe because she’s at home.

She’s home, with him.

Finis

"HOME" PG-13, PETER/CLAIRE (1/2)

2009-03-15T22:58:44Z

Title: "Home"
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2,642
Characters: Peter/Claire (canon), Claire/Alex (implied)
Summary: After she loses Nathan's protection, Claire is free to run back to the only person who's ever made her feel safe.
Spoilers: AU after 3.17
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine, just borrowing from NBC and Tim Kring. I am not profiting financially from this. Please don’t sue!
Author’s Notes: Written after 3.17; my version of what Claire might have done after helping Alex at the comic book store.

"Home"
by eowyn_girl

She misses Peter.

Although if anyone asked, Claire wouldn’t be able to say what precisely she misses about him.

Maybe she misses his idealism; his obstinacy against the odds. Or maybe she misses the child-like innocence that sometimes plays across his features even in the solemnest of moments, or his love of hot dogs, or appreciation of art and beauty in the most unlikeliest of places or his knack of lightening the mood whenever things get too tense and unbearable.

Most likely it’s all of the above.

She likes to think a part of that could have rubbed off onto her if their lives had intersected more; if she’d been allowed to know Peter as a friend and uncle for real. But as it is, she’s only seen him a handful of times since those halcyon days in New York, when they talked of flying and Superman and wearing underpants on the outside and more than anything else, she misses the kid she’d been, with him.

She misses the girl who’d jumped onto his back and asked for a piggy back just because; misses the giggle that bubbles from somewhere near her diaphragm and erupts at a joke he makes or a goofy expression he pulls. Misses the simplicity of thinking of something other than life and death and rebels and rescues and being on the run; thinks that it’s aged her way before her time.

She’s 17 but her real age is indeterminate. Age is only a number when fighting a war she hadn't asked for.

Peter’s been forced to go on the run from their own government and the whole thing is, as Alex says, royally and epically fucked up. Her two fathers are hunting Peter, Matt, Mohinder and the others like animals, turning law abiding citizens into fugitives. Up is down and down is up and when the Hunter shows up one day on her motel doorstep with tasers and team at the ready, she knows Nathan’s lost his influence for good.

So she does what she does best, and runs. But Claire isn’t scared; she has no fear of being caught.

Because it’s her chance to run back to him. She had left him in the middle of nowhere running for his life and it seems only appropriate she runs back to him now. He’s the only one who’s ever understood her, made her feel like she isn’t alone in the universe. With Peter, she doesn’t feel like a freak but a perfectly normal girl.

After all, she’s only ever wanted to be normal.

* * * * *

It takes only a few weeks, but she works out why she likes Alex so much; had liked him even from moment she had first laid eyes on him.

He’s smart, sensitive, trusting, caring; a dreamer. In short, he’s Peter as a younger man, albeit one who can breathe underwater (which is all sorts of cool, in a freaky, awesome way).

She discovers how their emotions play off each like two counterpoints in a melody. Everything they do resonates and it isn’t just that she’s attracted to the way he looks (because let’s face it, he’s about seven different kinds of hot) but in a way, he reminds her of both Peter and Zach, an amalgam of cool and geek and excitement and idealism all rolled into one athletic, slightly short sighted package.

The fact that he has a hidden ability of his own only emphasises their bond.

So yeah, she isn’t afraid to admit that a part of why she likes spending time with Alex is that he reminds her of people and happier times gone by. Except she’s moved on and the roles have changed; she’s the hero in this scenario and he the cheerleader because she no longer needs to be rescued. She’s the one who showed up into his perfectly normal life unannounced and plunged it into persecution and danger. It’s her responsibility now to keep him from being caught and she constantly moves them on, recalling places and names from her dad’s files that frankly she’s surprised she remembers. Who knew that the cheerleader had a brain?

When she blurts out her thoughts to Alex he only laughs, is far from being offended at the comparison. Kisses her and says she’s the only girl in the world who could get him into a cheerleading outfit, not that he would. She’d smiled coyly and teased, not that he would, but knew that if she asked, he totally would.

It’s funny how close they’ve become even in a short few weeks.

He’s the only thing she regrets when she’s forced to run. There’s no time to let him know the whys and wherefores, no time to say goodbye; doesn’t want to think that she’d seen him for the last time in the dimly lit Las Vegas motel room they’d shared for the last few days.

Claire’s not a religious girl but she prays in the days and weeks ahead that Alex will be able work out where she’s gone and follow her, or keep himself hidden without her help. She isn’t exactly worried about him; he’s smart and savvy and a demon with the computer even if he does get distracted by comics, but she needs to know he’s safe because she wouldn’t be able to run without that knowledge.

Knows that she’s made a choice by taking this chance to run away; knows that if she’d wanted to, she could find her way back to Alex and they’d go back to being on the run, together.

But as it is, she chooses. Chooses to run to the only person who’s ever made her feel safe, to the person who’s never broken a promise to her.

Not like Nathan and certainly, not like her dad.

* * * * *

It doesn’t phase Claire at first that she has no idea where Peter is; he’s on the run after all. What makes her think she can just up and find him? He’s a pinprick in a sea of six billion people and her ability is absolutely no use in this situation.

She knows it could take her a lifetime without help, so she adopts a riskier strategy. She’s a girl well accustomed to risk now and this one is the riskiest of them all.

She flatters herself in thinking it’s a well calculated one but let’s face it; she’s brash and pig headed at the best of times and anyone else in her situation would baulk at her plan. But she’s still her and it’s the best and only plan she has.

Despite the bravado, she’s glad when she finds Angela alone in the Petrelli house. Knows she’s lucky to not have run into Nathan and even though she’s not religious, thinks that maybe God is doing what he can to further their cause.

So she peers through the window, allows her grandmother to see her.

It’s a credit to the older lady that she barely reacts seeing a known terrorist and fugitive at her open window.

* * * * *

By subtle signals, Claire understands they’re to meet at the bottom of the garden, away from prying eyes. Not that she needed signals to understand the last part.

She waits patiently for Angela there, is happy to put her burden down if only for a while. She’s taken a gamble and if it doesn’t work, well – it doesn’t work.

The garden reminds her of the first time she was in it. Peter had taken her out after they’d first discovered their relation. He’d known, somehow, how incredibly confusing it’d been for her, finding out about Nathan and Meredith and it had helped her a lot to have a friendly face who knew just how hard it was to feel out of place in a world where she supposedly belonged.

To say that Angela is not at all pleased that Claire’s in her garden when she’s on the run from the law would have been the understatement of the century; but to her grandmother’s credit she never utters that one sentence that would have guaranteed Claire’s ire.

You shouldn’t have come here.

They talk, quickly and quietly, indeed away from prying eyes. Angela doesn’t know where her other son his but knows people who would know. Warns her to be careful but not for herself; she doesn’t want Claire to lead them directly to Peter and anyone he’s with.

Claire understands the risk; knows she’ll die before betraying Peter like that.

When she bids Angela farewell, Claire thinks it’s one of only a handful of times she feels a true kinship with Angela Petrelli. The cold, ruthless empire-building woman evidently still has enough of a heart to care where her other son is, and to make sure he’s safe. In a sense.

Despite the bond, Claire’s glad to go. Every minute she remains in New York is another minute she doesn’t find Peter.

to be continued ...